Keeping up with the Jones’

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I recently moved into a neighborhood where I knew nobody. I’ve been in Atlanta (Smyrna) for 18 months now, and believe it or not there’s a big part of the population whom I don’t know. My wife, Jen, and I have moved a total of seven times in the four years that we have been married; a total of three different cities in three different regions of the country. For a Community Groups Pastor, this is a bit frustrating. But when Jen and I moved into our little community, we committed to getting to know our neighbors.

The other night I was hanging out at a friend’s house and he preceded to tell me how he knew and/or was related to pretty much everyone on his street. He currently lives in the house that his best friend grew up in! Kevin is one of those guys who is deeply rooted into his community. He takes interest in his neighbors’ lives, even the ones who he’s not related to!

The more and more I thought about this, I began to drown not knowing where to even begin. To actually know my neighbor is much different than getting to know the people in my church family. I mean, I see the church family almost every week… wait, I see my literal neighbors daily, and when I don’t, it’s usually because I open the garage door, get out of my car, and then close the garage door. Again, as I examined why I hadn’t gotten to know my neighbors very well (I may know some of their names, but I don’t really know them) isn’t because my neighbors are scary monsters who let their dog do their business on my property and not pick it up, it’s usually pure laziness (sometimes disguised as business).

I learned a new principle that I’m sure most of you already know; ok, so let’s call this a relearned principle: Spiritual Growth is not accidental. It’s purposeful. In order to grow spiritually, I need to be open to and receptive to how the Spirit is teaching me. Sometimes this is in the habit of waking up early to spend time in prayer and in the Word, sometimes it’s simply listening to where God may be leading me and responding to it. But it is never by happenstance. I need to be actively pursuing Growth.

I think the same is true for getting to know my neighbors. Sometimes (or always depending on your theology) it is by total sovereign design that God puts your neighbors into your life and you seem to have a natural connection. But most often it has to be initiated by us, we have to go out and look for opportunities. My challenge to myself, and I feel comfortable challenging you also, is for us to get to know our neighbors. To really, really get to know them. Make a plan for it, perhaps to meet your 10 closest neighbors in the next 4 months or however long you feel called. But start somewhere.

How do I/we do this? Well, to start, let’s pray about it. Believe me, it’s a good place to start and a great road map! Perhaps God will reveal something to you that I would never even think of. But here are a few suggestions to prime the pump:

1. Stay at home more often. Don’t rush home so that you immediately rush out again to another appointment. Decide that you will spend an entire weekend at home!
2. Get outside more often. Hang outside in the front yard, not the back yard. Take your kids and your dog on a walk for the sole purpose of getting to know your neighbors.
3. Invitation to ‘hang out.’ You don’t need to make this a big elaborate meal, but just invite them over to hang out. Maybe a bar-b-que or some fondue!
4. Serve your neighborhood. You may or may not have to watch your neighborhood for a few weeks to find out where the needs are, but believe me, they are there. Perhaps there is an elderly couple who needs help with their lawn, maybe a disabled person, or maybe a kid who needs a little more healthy adult interaction. Find a need and fill it!
5. Ten-minute rule. Because people are so busy, if you happen to strike up a conversation, don’t keep them for more than 10 minutes! Rather than try and build a friendship while someone is mowing their lawn or walking their dog, build a rapport and over time invite them to ‘hang out.’

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