Thy Kingdom Come

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I’ve noticed that I’ve been pretty selfish lately, particularly with my time.  I’ve written about my love for solitude in previous posts, and I still think that solitude is essential for anyone who approaches relationships properly.  But time is easily disrupted for things that seem to be a big inconvenience.  Many of the spiritual saints write about how spiritual growth is never convenient, and so I guess this shouldn’t be of a surprise.  But there’s so much in life that I want to do, and much of it is quite simply totally selfish.  I don’t like it when I am told I have to do this or that, either for work or for family.

Is it entirely different when it is God telling me what I have to do?  I honestly try and be obedient, but often what I feel I’m compelled to do feels trivial (just being honest).  And so it didn’t surprise me when I reread this verse in the book of John (John 21:18-19).  Jesus says this, “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”  Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would die, but I think there’s a tremendous amount of wisdom found in this, particularly when I compare this with one of the most loved Psalms.

Psalm 23 reads, “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.  He guides me…”

I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that God would take me where I do not want to go (both spiritually and often literally).  But what surprises me is how much I fight it, even when I know that he is to take me by green pastures and quiet waters.  There’s a ton of room for discussion on what green pastures and still water is, but nonetheless where God wants to take me is probably better than where I want to go.  The one who dresses me and leads me where I do not want to go acutally has a much better plan for me than I could ever want for myself.

The wisdom I gleen from this most is what David so perfectly said at the beginning of the Psalm: “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.”

Thy Kingdom Come, Lord.

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